Sunday, October 23, 2016

SHOULDN'T THAT BE 'PUP' CONTEST?

Janet Reid's POP CONTEST!

So, what's the story of the pup in the goggles?

25 words or fewer, posted in the comment section!

Yes, there is a prize! It's a great book called Susie's Senior Dogs!

How long do you have to enter?
Well, you should do it now, cause it's going to end later today (Sunday 10/23/16) 






I said I’d wear the goggles on Halloween, but they can lick my butt if they think I’m wearing the rest of that costume.


And the winner is  winners are....  
"The winner is of course frenchsojourn because he worked in a reference to donnaeve's upcoming debut The Education of Dixie Dupree (pubbing Tuesday!)

"Sadly, Hank is off sojourning in France, so I can't mail him the book for his prize.

Thus, Miss Congeniality gets the prize and that's of course Dena Pawling, who worked in a reference to The Duchess of Yowl (who is amused to her toes to find herself anywhere near A Dog.)"


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Sunday, July 3, 2016

IN COLD BLOOD

Janet Reid's

the ALOT of books writing contest!

Summer is here and it's time to clear off the bookcase and make room for new titles! The writing contest prize this week will be 14 books, not one! In other words, your entire summer reading list. Because I'm mailing from my office, the winner must have a US mailing address. You can enter if you don't have one of course, but if you win, we'll send the books to the first runner up.

The usual rules apply:
1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Use these words in the story:  X  Bone  Devil  Slip  100
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards.
Thus: bone/boneyard is ok but bone/bonfire is not
4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date. 
12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story. 
Contest opens: 9am, Saturday, July 2 ~~ Contest closes: 9am. Sunday, July 3 

My Entry (which is fiction):

Capote called me Monsieur X in his columns. I especially loved the bitchy comments about me. “But never reveal my identity.”

“His lipo reduced him to a sack of potatoes.”
“He applies his makeup with a trowel. His face melts at 100*.”
“He dresses in the finest Vaudeville tradition.”

As alcohol curdled Truman’s genius, he’d backstab one friend, then another, to spice up his columns. 

The coroner found “no foul play.” Money buys anything in Bel-Air.

I stole Truman’s ashes and added the ashes of his last column I found when I visited him that night. I had warned him.




.....



After posting, I revised it. Is this the better version?

Capote called me Monsieur X in his columns. “Write whatever you like,” I said, “but never reveal my identity.”  

I especially loved the bitchy comments:

“His lipo reduced him to a sack of potatoes.”
“He applies his makeup with a trowel. His face melts at 100*.”
“He dresses in the finest Vaudeville tradition.”

As alcohol curdled Truman’s genius, he’d backstab one friend, then another, to spice up his columns.

The coroner found “no foul play.” Money buys anything in Bel-Air.


I stole Truman’s ashes and added the ashes of his last column I found when I visited him that night.

.....


UPDATE:  I didn't win. I didn't even get a mention, but few did. I had thought the line  "As alcohol curdled Truman’s genius" might have earned a mention, but it didn't.  I wasn't going to enter, but then at the last minute... Actually, I was inspired around 8:10 and posted my entry at 8:59. That's cutting it veryclose. I doubt my revision would have made a difference.  As always, I'm glad I came up with a 100-word story. I like it.


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Saturday, April 30, 2016

"IT HAS A WAY WITH WOMEN"

It's Janet Reid's Upping the Ante writing contest!
You guyz have gotten entirely too good at these writing contests. Time to move up a division. (Sorry Carolynn, not doing essays!) Read the rules carefully this time: there are changes!

1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Start with this phrase:  "And then she saw"
3. End with the phrase: "stunned her."
4. Use these three prompt words: cat   hat   splat
5. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards.
Thus: cat/catering is fine but hat/heat is not.
6. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
7. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
9. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
 13. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.
14. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story.


            Contest opens: 9am Saturday 4/30/16 ~~ Contest closes: 9am Sunday 5/1/16





 “And then she saw Catherine Higgins, Mrs. Platt said, after she hit her with her vehicle,” said the officer. 

“Ms. Higgins said nothing’s broken, it was an accident and she won’t press charges,” said the Chief. “Thank God that sweet old lady was driving slow and doesn’t know Arthur is seeing Ms. Higgins.”

Later, Arthur told his wife, “That Buick is simply too big. You can’t see over the steering wheel.”

“I can see just fine.”

“You need a smaller car.”

“Arthur?”

“Yes, Dear?”

 “Stop seeing Catherine or next time I’ll gun that Buick. This time I only stunned her.”



.....



The contest is now closed, so of course now I think of a slightly better version of the story. I couldn't think of it when I still had time to do a mulligan (#7 in the rules).  siiiiigh Of course not.  This story is actually a miniature version of a longer one I've been working on for a while. Reducing that story into 100 words was quite a feat. Regardless, I'm certain my story above won't win and the one below wouldn't have, either. Btw, I purposely did not italicize any words, as I did in the version below, because I thought (mistakenly) that Janet Reid doesn't care for italicized words. But I digress. Here's what I consider to be the better 100-word version:



“And then she saw Catherine Higgins after she hit her with her vehicle, Mrs. Platt said, but not before,” said the officer. 

“Ms. Higgins said nothing’s broken, it was an accident and she won’t press charges on that sweet old lady,” said the Chief. “Thank God that sweet old lady was driving slow.”

Later, Arthur told his wife, “That Buick is simply too big. You can’t see over the steering wheel.”

“I can see just fine.”

“You need a smaller car.”

“Arthur?”

“Yes, Dear?”


“Stop seeing Catherine or next time I’ll gun that Buick. This time I only stunned her.”



The results are in:  I didn't win, but I made the finalist list! JR remarked: I'm a sucker for an old lady driving a Buick story, most likely cause Granddad was a Buick man. And I do like the little twist that no one expects a little old lady to be lethally aware of her man doing her wrong.


UPDATE! UPDATE!! 6/7/2016If I want to collect and publish a selection of blog contest entries, like this one from Kitty,
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Saturday, March 12, 2016

THE BLUSHING GROOM

It's Janet Reid's The Sayonara Amy, Smooth Seas Ahead Writing Contest
Let's send Amy off on her amazing journey with a writing contest!

The usual rules apply:
1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Use these words in the story: sea   blue   salt   safe    land
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt word must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards. Thus: sea/seattle is ok, but salt/gestalt is not
4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date. 

Contest opens: Saturday March 12, 10am ~~ Contest closes: Sunday March 13, 11am 
(yea, hello daylight savings time)



At the seasoned age of eighty-two, Luella was getting married for the first time.  Waiting for the organist to begin, she ran down “the list.”

“Something old: me!  Something new: my shoes.  Something borrowed: my dress. Something bl… Oh my, I must confess something NOW!”

It’s safe to say Luella’s sins altogether wouldn’t amount to one decent confession.  Even so, Father O’Hara was immediately summoned.

Minutes later, Luella marched down the aisle, on her brother’s arm, wearing a garland of flowers in her hair, a smile on her face and "sinfully sheer blue undergarments" she bought in the lingerie department.


    Photo by my father, John Gould © late 1940s



And the winner is.... Not I, but Janet had this to say about my story: "This story was just utterly charming: kitty 2:50pm." I may not have won but I'm smiling :)





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Sunday, February 21, 2016

NOTHING BEATS A GOOD PASTRAMI ON RYE WITH TWO DILLS

To celebrate the spiffy new spread sheet of all the writing contest winners, it's a writing contest!   (Of course!)


The usual rules apply:
1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Use these words in the story:  tank  chest  tray  sure  smith
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards.
Thus: tank/stank is ok but smith/smiteth is not.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date. 
12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story. 

       
Contest opens: Saturday 2/20/16 at 10am & Contest closes: Sunday 2/21/16 at 10am



Old Mrs. Mandelbaum was sitting at the register in her Manhattan kosher deli chain-smoking Chesterfields, ashtray poised for the fallout, while training a new busboy.
“Mayor’s coming,” the busboy said.
“Nanny Bloomers? That pinstripe schmuck doesn’t bother me.”

“Sylvia.”
“Michael.”
“You know smoking will kill you.”
“I'm blowing that theory to smithereens.” {laugh, cough, hack}
“It’s against the law to smoke in here.”
“So you keep telling me.”
“Is my order ready?”
“Pastrami on rye, two dills.”
“Just put it on my tab.” He smiled.  “See you tomorrow, Sylvia.”
“Always a pleasure, Michael.”

“Where’s the mayor’s tab?”
“I’m smoking it.”



And these were her comments:"This just cracked me up.  You need to know that Mayor Michael Bloomberg was derided as "Nanny Bloomers" for his efforts to pass legislation about health stuff (like banning smoking in bars.)   And "chain smoking Chesterfields" is a great use of brand names to convey characters.   If she'd been chain smoking Virginia Slims you'd have a whole different idea of her, right?   And it took me three passes to find the prompt word tank! "

And the winner is.... Sara Halle. 


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Sunday, January 10, 2016

WE CAN ONLY GRIEVE SO LONG

Janet's Reid's Flash fiction writing contest 
I read a terrific book over the holiday break that will be our prize for the first flash fiction contest of the new year. BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT by Neal Griffin 

The usual rules, plus the new one #12, apply: 
1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer. 
2. Use these words in the story: absorb,  execute,  bold,  shim,  chill 
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards. Thus: shim/shimmer is ok, but shim/shrimp is not 
4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post. 
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post. 
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title) 
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date. 
12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story. 

                Contest opens: Saturday 1/9/16 10am Contest closes: Sunday, 1/10/16, 10am

My Entry:



We were flying to Chillicothe to execute our mother’s will. 
“I’m still trying to absorb Mother is dead and you’re divvying up our inheritance?”
“Oh, posh. Imagine yourself in her fab Oldsmobile convertible. We’re talking vintage 1958 in mint condition.”
“I should’ve been nicer to her.”
“I want her china.”
“We argued our last phone call.”
“And her silver.”
“What if that caused her heart attack?”
“And her jewelry.”
“OHMYGOD, I killed her!”
“Get a grip! She was a miserable battleaxe.”
[sigh] “True, nobody got along with her.”
“Now, about the Olds…”
“I would look good in it, wouldn’t I.”


.....

AND THE WINNER IS... Not I, but my "Chillicothe" was recognized as an "innovative" use of the prompt word chill.


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