Thursday, March 23, 2017

Saturday, March 4, 2017

HE DRANK WITH IRISH ENTHUSIASM

Janet Reid's Contest #99

I'm reliably informed that this is the 99th flash fiction contest. (That number excludes contests that involved stacking books to make sentences, or anything involved with photos.)  99 is such a great number.  For me, it will always be the number associated with Maxwell Smart's sidekick: Agent 99.  In honor of #99, let's have a writing contest!

The usual rules apply:
1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Use these words in the story:  agent  99  max  well  smart
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards. Thus: max/Maximus is ok, but agent/argument is not
4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.
12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story.


Contest opens: Saturday 3/4/17, 9am ~~ Contest closes: Sunday, 3/5/17, 9am





Payday, and Muldoon’s at maximum capacity.  Yanks are singing “99 Bottles of Beer,” and Da’s discussing art with his mates.

“Looks like an orgasm, art at its worst,” said Da.
“It’s Jackson Pollock, ya eejit!”

“C’mon, Mam’s waitin’ dinner, and she’s in a fit.”
“Feckin spuds again.”
“Jayzus, Da, you’re drinkin' us all into vegetarianism!”

I held him while he splashed his wellies in the alley. “You’re a gent,” he said.

Mam handed me the letter from University.
“Are’ya accepted?”
I was. But with five wee-uns, and Da’s drinkin’, she needs my wages.
“No.”
She bowed her head and exhaled.



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UPDATE:  The finalists are posted; her decision comes later. I didn't make the finalists or even a mention.



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Saturday, February 18, 2017

BECAUSE SHE IS HAPPY TO SEE ME


Friday, February 17, 2017
Last week's writing contest winner posited a world taken over by machines. I loved the pure imaginative concept.  The same day I posted that choice, I was reading a piece by Jeff Somers that referenced Ray Bradbury's short story There Will Come Soft Rain. That story, as you read it, seems clearly inspired by a Sara Teasdale poem. And the idea came to me: why not use a poem as a prompt! So, here it is. (this is my favorite poem of all time):  Happiness by Jane Kenyon  

Almost all the usual rules apply:

1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.

2. Use these words in the story:
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the
prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards.
Thus: flim is ok, but MILF is not.

4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.


Contest opens: 9am, Saturday 2/18/17 ~~ Contest closes: 9am, Sunday 2/19/17



2/17/2017   

Katina is one year old today.
There will be cake
and ice cream.
No chocolate!
And, of course,
presents!
wrapped in colorful paper and ribbons
which she will tear off
while squealing with delight.
Noisy toys, which will assault my ears
and she’ll love,
and maybe a cuddly doll or two .

Katina, my elfin granddaughter,
who can say three words I hope to hear
for the first time today

Katina, a year old                                                                                 
and no longer crawling
but walking!
towards me
with outstretched arms
and frosting-smeared lips
drawn into a smile
because she is happy to see me.



Photos by her half-sister, Christin Glicos.                

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And the winner is: Not I, but Lennon Faris for his "gorgeous writing."



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Saturday, February 11, 2017

PUBLISH OR PERISH


Tuesday marked the publication of Loretta Sue Ross's third book in the Auction Block series, a series I love so much I always hope she needs a couple revisions with every book so I can read them more than once. (Sadly, she hardly ever needs more than one set of revision notes, it's really frustrating). To mark this lovely milestone let's have a writing contest! The prize will be ALL THREE of Loretta's books, and boy oh boy you WANT to win these.
 The usual rules apply:
1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Use these words in the story:  death  wren  red  brew  dig
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the
prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards. Thus: wren/wrench is ok but death/dearth is not.
4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again.  It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.
12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story.


Contest opens: 9am, Saturday, 2/11/17 (EST)  ~~ Contest closes: 9am, Sunday, 2/12/17 (EST)



“Father is threatening to shoot my low-rent brother, Benny,” said Mr. Brewster.

“Low-rent?” said the Sheriff.

“Father calls him a low-rent joyride athlete, because Benny is-- was-- a male prostitute. He says he’s retired.”

“Sounds like he has a problem with Benny’s lifestyle.”

“Father’s indignant about it, but that’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?”

“Benny has written a salacious memoir, pornographic yet surprisingly literate for him, and…”

“And your father doesn’t want it published.”


“Oh no, on the contrary. Father’s a publisher. Benny’s book would make a lot of money. But purely out of spite, Benny decided to self-publish.”


.....


UPDATE:  I made Janet Reid's "long list of finalists"! :O  Final results tomorrow.


UPDATE II: Not I, but the winner deserved to win. Janet said this about my story:  
I love how Kitty used the prompt words here very deftly. And of course, it's hilarious to touch on the theme of self-publishing. This made me laugh out loud.


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Saturday, January 14, 2017

DOES JANET REID WEAR PRADA?


25 words or fewer.
Post in the comments column of this blog post.
ONE entry per person.

Contest opens NOW. Contest closes at 7pm today.


My Entry:



Pst, she’s on her way. Tell everyone!
She’s not supposed to be here yet.
OMG, she’s coming this way!

ALL RIGHT EVERYONE, GIRD YOUR LOINS! 


And the winner is... Janice, who deserved to win.


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Sunday, October 23, 2016

SHOULDN'T THAT BE 'PUP' CONTEST?

Janet Reid's POP CONTEST!

So, what's the story of the pup in the goggles?

25 words or fewer, posted in the comment section!

Yes, there is a prize! It's a great book called Susie's Senior Dogs!

How long do you have to enter?
Well, you should do it now, cause it's going to end later today (Sunday 10/23/16) 






I said I’d wear the goggles on Halloween, but they can lick my butt if they think I’m wearing the rest of that costume.


And the winner is  winners are....  
"The winner is of course frenchsojourn because he worked in a reference to donnaeve's upcoming debut The Education of Dixie Dupree (pubbing Tuesday!)

"Sadly, Hank is off sojourning in France, so I can't mail him the book for his prize.

Thus, Miss Congeniality gets the prize and that's of course Dena Pawling, who worked in a reference to The Duchess of Yowl (who is amused to her toes to find herself anywhere near A Dog.)"


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Sunday, July 3, 2016

IN COLD BLOOD

Janet Reid's

the ALOT of books writing contest!

Summer is here and it's time to clear off the bookcase and make room for new titles! The writing contest prize this week will be 14 books, not one! In other words, your entire summer reading list. Because I'm mailing from my office, the winner must have a US mailing address. You can enter if you don't have one of course, but if you win, we'll send the books to the first runner up.

The usual rules apply:
1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Use these words in the story:  X  Bone  Devil  Slip  100
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards.
Thus: bone/boneyard is ok but bone/bonfire is not
4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date. 
12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story. 
Contest opens: 9am, Saturday, July 2 ~~ Contest closes: 9am. Sunday, July 3 

My Entry (which is fiction):

Capote called me Monsieur X in his columns. I especially loved the bitchy comments about me. “But never reveal my identity.”

“His lipo reduced him to a sack of potatoes.”
“He applies his makeup with a trowel. His face melts at 100*.”
“He dresses in the finest Vaudeville tradition.”

As alcohol curdled Truman’s genius, he’d backstab one friend, then another, to spice up his columns. 

The coroner found “no foul play.” Money buys anything in Bel-Air.

I stole Truman’s ashes and added the ashes of his last column I found when I visited him that night. I had warned him.




.....



After posting, I revised it. Is this the better version?

Capote called me Monsieur X in his columns. “Write whatever you like,” I said, “but never reveal my identity.”  

I especially loved the bitchy comments:

“His lipo reduced him to a sack of potatoes.”
“He applies his makeup with a trowel. His face melts at 100*.”
“He dresses in the finest Vaudeville tradition.”

As alcohol curdled Truman’s genius, he’d backstab one friend, then another, to spice up his columns.

The coroner found “no foul play.” Money buys anything in Bel-Air.


I stole Truman’s ashes and added the ashes of his last column I found when I visited him that night.

.....


UPDATE:  I didn't win. I didn't even get a mention, but few did. I had thought the line  "As alcohol curdled Truman’s genius" might have earned a mention, but it didn't.  I wasn't going to enter, but then at the last minute... Actually, I was inspired around 8:10 and posted my entry at 8:59. That's cutting it veryclose. I doubt my revision would have made a difference.  As always, I'm glad I came up with a 100-word story. I like it.


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