Saturday, April 1, 2017

AND A SIDE ORDER OF WORD SALAD, PLEASE

It's April 1st ... y'know, April Fool's Day.

I shoulda known that prankster Janet Reid would hold a contest with crazy rules.

I shoulda known, and yet

I FELL FOR IT!  Well played, Janet.

I think we need a contest!

The usual rules apply:
1. Write a story using 100 characters or fewer.

2. Use all these words in the story: avarice parmigiano rhubarb immobilization Liverpudlian fuel
3. You must use the whole word, and that whole word should be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt must not be in consecutive order. They should be backwards.
4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over), post again. Don't worry about spell-check.
6. Interstellar entries are allowed, but prizes may vary for those addresses.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you should have a title; it should be a pun.)
8. Under all circumstances you should tweet something about your particular entry to me. Example: "Hope you like my entry about Felix Buttonweezer!"  This is part of the judging.
8a. There are no circumstances in which it is ok to ask for fleabags from ME. NONE.
9. It's not ok to tweet about the contest generally. Example: "I just saw the flash fiction contest on Janet's blog and I'm so confused"
10. Please post anything but contest entries. (For example "I love Felix Buttonweezer's entry!")
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.
12. The stories should not be self-contained. That is: include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will be considered during the judging.


Contest opens: 7:26pm (EDT) 4/1/17  ~~  Contest closes: 9:26am (AEDT) 4/2/17






Liverpudlian rhubarb fuel.
Avarice immobilization?
Parmigiano!
And a side order of word salad, please.



.....
Update:  Janet was surprised that anyone actually wrote entries, so she thought it was only decent that there should be a winner.  She chose Steve: In an astonishing feat that had to be seen to be believed, the amazing Steve Forti not only used the prompt words, he used them backwards. I am in awe.

.....

Thursday, March 23, 2017

HOOPTEDOODLE WITH PABLO and HENRY

Janet Reid's latest contest...


So, here are Pablo and Henry.
Tell us what they're thinking.




.....

UPDATE:  Janet has listed the finalists, and I made the listNo explanation required of why I love this one, right?  [ HERE and HERE ]

She's added a twistNow, on to the new and diabolical way to torment you!
The prize for this contest is that the winning entry will provide the next prompt word for #100.
And I can hear you all shrieking and saying "oh my god, she IS going to pick Hooptedoodle, I knew it!"
But no. I'm going to let you choose your own adventure torment! From the entries above, pick the word that you think should be Word #4 for Contest #100.
Remember, a good prompt word is generally short, has more than one meaning, is not by definition pornographic or a swear word (although any word can take on those characteristics depending on context!)
Post your suggestions in the comment column. Include the entry writer with the word too, if you would.

.....

Saturday, March 4, 2017

HE DRANK WITH IRISH ENTHUSIASM

Janet Reid's Contest #99

I'm reliably informed that this is the 99th flash fiction contest. (That number excludes contests that involved stacking books to make sentences, or anything involved with photos.)  99 is such a great number.  For me, it will always be the number associated with Maxwell Smart's sidekick: Agent 99.  In honor of #99, let's have a writing contest!

The usual rules apply:
1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Use these words in the story:  agent  99  max  well  smart
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards. Thus: max/Maximus is ok, but agent/argument is not
4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.
12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story.


Contest opens: Saturday 3/4/17, 9am ~~ Contest closes: Sunday, 3/5/17, 9am





Payday, and Muldoon’s at maximum capacity.  Yanks are singing “99 Bottles of Beer,” and Da’s discussing art with his mates.

“Looks like an orgasm, art at its worst,” said Da.
“It’s Jackson Pollock, ya eejit!”

“C’mon, Mam’s waitin’ dinner, and she’s in a fit.”
“Feckin spuds again.”
“Jayzus, Da, you’re drinkin' us all into vegetarianism!”

I held him while he splashed his wellies in the alley. “You’re a gent,” he said.

Mam handed me the letter from University.
“Are’ya accepted?”
I was. But with five wee-uns, and Da’s drinkin’, she needs my wages.
“No.”
She bowed her head and exhaled.



.....

UPDATE:  The finalists are posted; her decision comes later. I didn't make the finalists or even a mention.



.....

Saturday, February 18, 2017

BECAUSE SHE IS HAPPY TO SEE ME


Friday, February 17, 2017
Last week's writing contest winner posited a world taken over by machines. I loved the pure imaginative concept.  The same day I posted that choice, I was reading a piece by Jeff Somers that referenced Ray Bradbury's short story There Will Come Soft Rain. That story, as you read it, seems clearly inspired by a Sara Teasdale poem. And the idea came to me: why not use a poem as a prompt! So, here it is. (this is my favorite poem of all time):  Happiness by Jane Kenyon  

Almost all the usual rules apply:

1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.

2. Use these words in the story:
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the
prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards.
Thus: flim is ok, but MILF is not.

4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.


Contest opens: 9am, Saturday 2/18/17 ~~ Contest closes: 9am, Sunday 2/19/17



2/17/2017   

Katina is one year old today.
There will be cake
and ice cream.
No chocolate!
And, of course,
presents!
wrapped in colorful paper and ribbons
which she will tear off
while squealing with delight.
Noisy toys, which will assault my ears
and she’ll love,
and maybe a cuddly doll or two .

Katina, my elfin granddaughter,
who can say three words I hope to hear
for the first time today

Katina, a year old                                                                                 
and no longer crawling
but walking!
towards me
with outstretched arms
and frosting-smeared lips
drawn into a smile
because she is happy to see me.



Photos by her half-sister, Christin Glicos.                

.....

And the winner is: Not I, but Lennon Faris for his "gorgeous writing."



.....




Saturday, February 11, 2017

PUBLISH OR PERISH


Tuesday marked the publication of Loretta Sue Ross's third book in the Auction Block series, a series I love so much I always hope she needs a couple revisions with every book so I can read them more than once. (Sadly, she hardly ever needs more than one set of revision notes, it's really frustrating). To mark this lovely milestone let's have a writing contest! The prize will be ALL THREE of Loretta's books, and boy oh boy you WANT to win these.
 The usual rules apply:
1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Use these words in the story:  death  wren  red  brew  dig
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the
prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards. Thus: wren/wrench is ok but death/dearth is not.
4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again.  It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.
12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story.


Contest opens: 9am, Saturday, 2/11/17 (EST)  ~~ Contest closes: 9am, Sunday, 2/12/17 (EST)



“Father is threatening to shoot my low-rent brother, Benny,” said Mr. Brewster.

“Low-rent?” said the Sheriff.

“Father calls him a low-rent joyride athlete, because Benny is-- was-- a male prostitute. He says he’s retired.”

“Sounds like he has a problem with Benny’s lifestyle.”

“Father’s indignant about it, but that’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?”

“Benny has written a salacious memoir, pornographic yet surprisingly literate for him, and…”

“And your father doesn’t want it published.”


“Oh no, on the contrary. Father’s a publisher. Benny’s book would make a lot of money. But purely out of spite, Benny decided to self-publish.”


.....


UPDATE:  I made Janet Reid's "long list of finalists"! :O  Final results tomorrow.


UPDATE II: Not I, but the winner deserved to win. Janet said this about my story:  
I love how Kitty used the prompt words here very deftly. And of course, it's hilarious to touch on the theme of self-publishing. This made me laugh out loud.


.....


Saturday, January 14, 2017

DOES JANET REID WEAR PRADA?


25 words or fewer.
Post in the comments column of this blog post.
ONE entry per person.

Contest opens NOW. Contest closes at 7pm today.


My Entry:



Pst, she’s on her way. Tell everyone!
She’s not supposed to be here yet.
OMG, she’s coming this way!

ALL RIGHT EVERYONE, GIRD YOUR LOINS! 


And the winner is... Janice, who deserved to win.


.....

Sunday, October 23, 2016

SHOULDN'T THAT BE 'PUP' CONTEST?

Janet Reid's POP CONTEST!

So, what's the story of the pup in the goggles?

25 words or fewer, posted in the comment section!

Yes, there is a prize! It's a great book called Susie's Senior Dogs!

How long do you have to enter?
Well, you should do it now, cause it's going to end later today (Sunday 10/23/16) 






I said I’d wear the goggles on Halloween, but they can lick my butt if they think I’m wearing the rest of that costume.


And the winner is  winners are....  
"The winner is of course frenchsojourn because he worked in a reference to donnaeve's upcoming debut The Education of Dixie Dupree (pubbing Tuesday!)

"Sadly, Hank is off sojourning in France, so I can't mail him the book for his prize.

Thus, Miss Congeniality gets the prize and that's of course Dena Pawling, who worked in a reference to The Duchess of Yowl (who is amused to her toes to find herself anywhere near A Dog.)"


.....