Sunday, May 21, 2017

CAN'T ESCAPE GRACELAND!

At last, at last! Thank God Almighty, at last! 
Here it is:  Janet Reid's Contest #100

The prize is pretty spiffy if I do say so myself. A copy of Vargic's Miscellany of Curious Maps,  which is one of my all time faves.

The usual rules apply:

1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Use these words in the story:

gaze (provided by Melanie Sue Bowles)
scapegrace  (provided by Julie Weathers)
scram (provided by Lennon Faris)
forti (provided by Megan V)
fin (provided by the comment column on 4/26/17)

3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the
prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards.
Thus: scram/scrambled is ok but scram/secret agent man is not.
4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.
12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story.



Contest opens: 9am, Saturday, May 20 ~~ Contest closes: 9am, Sunday, May 21


I have ZERO chance of winning, but I still love the challenge. So, without further ado, here's



Texting…
“You got us reservations?”
“Zelma’s coming, too?”
“We got married!”

Gird your loins, honey. Your father married her.

That meshuga Zelma? That floozy with a voice like fingernails on a blackboard and the intellectual depth of spit?

“CONGRATS! Reservations at Beaufort SC Ramada, 809 Port Republic St. FYI it’s BYOO-fort in SC. Where are you?”
“Memphis. Can’t escape Graceland!”

Zelma’s touring Graceland.

AGAIN? How am I supposed to be nice to her?

Just think of your inheritance.

...

“Congratulations, you two! Look, honey, they brought us another Elvis painting. On VELVET!”

“How (inheritance) lovely (inheritance). Thanks, Dad… (inheritance inheritance) Zelma.”


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UPDATE:  Janet has already posted her preliminary results.  I got a mention:

Not quite a story but these cracked me up completely:
Peter Taylor 8:30pm
LynnRodz 8:12am
Kitty 8:25am


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Saturday, May 13, 2017

STILL WAITING FOR JANET REID'S #100 FLASH FICTION CONTEST

In the meantime, it's a CATION CONTEST!

Get it? CATS!

What are these two fine felines thinking?
20 words or fewer!
One entry per person (or per cat!)
Post your answer in the comment column!
Contest opens now.
Contest closes around 7pm Eastern Shark time.
You're on your own for questions (sorry!) I'm fin deep in my requested reading stash.

Cooper and Ernie


Hey Ernie, Janet found the helium tank because here she comes with her inflatable shark.

Protract the claws. Ready, aim…



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Saturday, May 6, 2017

SOMETIMES THERE'S NO TALKING WITH HUMANS

No, it's not the #100 Janet Reid contest, but it is a CAPTION CONTEST!

Enter your caption for this photo in the comments section below.
Of course there's a prize!
Figure the contest will close around 7pm New York time.



Speaking of the Canon… Yeah, I lifted my leg on it. I’m a dog. What would you have done? In my defense, She said no before but now said yes “in a Twitter pitch fest.” So I asked her, “Where’s this twitter thing? I can pee anywhere.”  I don’t think she heard me because she said, “When your life goes off the rails, try Twitter pitching. C’mon, let’s go home. I’ve got Some housekeeping to do. Plus, it’s time for a Caption contest!

Sometimes there’s no talking with humans. I should be more like Pablo and Henry and play dumb. 






Explanation: The lines in bold print are recent titles of posts on Janet Reid's blog. Pablo and Henry are cats.

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UPDATE: And the winner is Mallory Love, but I did get a mention: "a Forti-esque tour de force...!"


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