HOOPTEDOODLE WITH PABLO and HENRY

Janet Reid's latest contest...

So, here are Pablo and Henry.

Tell us what they're thinking.

My (acrostic) Entry:

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UPDATE:  Janet has listed the finalists, and I made the list: No explanation required of why I love this one, right?  [ HERE and HERE ]

She's added a twist: Now, on to the new and diabolical way to torment you!

The prize for this contest is that the winning entry will provide the next prompt word for #100.

And I can hear you all shrieking and saying "oh my god, she IS going to pick Hooptedoodle, I knew it!"

But no. I'm going to let you choose your own adventure torment! From the entries above, pick the word that you think should be Word #4 for Contest #100.

Remember, a good prompt word is generally short, has more than one meaning, is not by definition pornographic or a swear word (although any word can take on those characteristics depending on context!)

Post your suggestions in the comment column. Include the entry writer with the word too, if you would.

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HE DRANK WITH IRISH ENTHUSIASM

Janet Reid's Contest #99

I'm reliably informed that this is the 99th flash fiction contest. (That number excludes contests that involved stacking books to make sentences, or anything involved with photos.)  99 is such a great number.  For me, it will always be the number associated with Maxwell Smart's sidekick: Agent 99.  In honor of #99, let's have a writing contest!

The usual rules apply:

1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.

2. Use these words in the story:  agent  99  max  well  smart

3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards. Thus: max/Maximus is ok, but agent/argument is not

4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.

5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.

7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)

11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.

12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story.

Contest opens: Saturday 3/4/17, 9am ~~ Contest closes: Sunday, 3/5/17, 9am

My Entry: 

Payday, and Muldoon’s at maximum capacity.  Yanks are singing “99 Bottles of Beer,” and Da’s discussing art with his mates.

“Looks like an orgasm, art at its worst,” said Da.

“It’s Jackson Pollock, ya eejit!”

“C’mon, Mam’s waitin’ dinner, and she’s in a fit.”

“Feckin spuds again.”

“Jayzus, Da, you’re drinkin' us all into vegetarianism!”

I held him while he splashed his wellies in the alley. “You’re a gent,” he said.

Mam handed me the letter from University.

“Are’ya accepted?”

I was. But with five wee-uns, and Da’s drinkin’, she needs my wages.

“No.”

She bowed her head and exhaled.

.....

UPDATE:  The finalists are posted; her decision comes later. I didn't make the finalists or even a mention.



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UPDATE: 7 May 2017

Well, this is very interesting.  It was reported back in 1995 that Modern art was CIA 'weapon':

For decades in art circles it was either a rumour or a joke, but now it is confirmed as a fact. The Central Intelligence Agency used American modern art - including the works of such artists as Jackson Pollock, Robert Motherwell, Willem de Kooning and Mark Rothko - as a weapon in the Cold War. In the manner of a Renaissance prince - except that it acted secretly - the CIA fostered and promoted American Abstract Expressionist painting around the world for more than 20 years.

The connection is improbable. This was a period, in the 1950s and 1960s, when the great majority of Americans disliked or even despised modern art - President Truman summed up the popular view when he said: "If that's art, then I'm a Hottentot." As for the artists themselves, many were ex- communists barely acceptable in the America of the McCarthyite era, and certainly not the sort of people normally likely to receive US government backing.

Why did the CIA support them? Because in the propaganda war with the Soviet Union, this new artistic movement could be held up as proof of the creativity, the intellectual freedom, and the cultural power of the US. Russian art, strapped into the communist ideological straitjacket, could not compete.

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BECAUSE SHE IS HAPPY TO SEE ME

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PUBLISH OR PERISH

Janet Reid’s Triple play flash fiction contest!

Tuesday marked the publication of Loretta Sue Ross's third book in the Auction Block series, a series I love so much I always hope she needs a couple revisions with every book so I can read them more than once. (Sadly, she hardly ever needs more than one set of revision notes, it's really frustrating). To mark this lovely milestone let's have a writing contest! The prize will be ALL THREE of Loretta's books, and boy oh boy you WANT to win these.

 The usual rules apply:

1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.

2. Use these words in the story:  death  wren  red  brew  dig

3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the

prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards. Thus: wren/wrench is ok but death/dearth is not.

4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.

5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again.  It helps to work out your entry first, then post.

7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)

11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.

12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story.

Contest opens: 9am, Saturday, 2/11/17 (EST)  ~~ Contest closes: 9am, Sunday, 2/12/17 (EST)

My Entry:

“Father is threatening to shoot my low-rent brother, Benny,” said Mr. Brewster.

“Low-rent?” said the Sheriff.

“Father calls him a low-rent joyride athlete, because Benny is-- was-- a male prostitute. He says he’s retired.”

“Sounds like he has a problem with Benny’s lifestyle.”

“Father’s indignant about it, but that’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?”

“Benny has written a salacious memoir, pornographic yet surprisingly literate for him, and…”

“And your father doesn’t want it published.”

“Oh no, on the contrary. Father’s a publisher. Benny’s book would make a lot of money. But purely out of spite, Benny decided to self-publish.”

.....

UPDATE:  I made Janet Reid's "long list of finalists"! :O  Final results tomorrow.

UPDATE II: Not I, but the winner deserved to win. Janet said this about my story:  

I love how Kitty used the prompt words here very deftly. And of course, it's hilarious to touch on the theme of self-publishing. This made me laugh out loud.

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"IT HAS A WAY WITH WOMEN"

It's Janet Reid's Upping the Ante writing contest!

You guyz have gotten entirely too good at these writing contests. Time to move up a division. (Sorry Carolynn, not doing essays!) Read the rules carefully this time: there are changes!

1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.

2. Start with this phrase:  "And then she saw"

3. End with the phrase: "stunned her."

4. Use these three prompt words: cat   hat   splat

5. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards.

Thus: cat/catering is fine but hat/heat is not.

6. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.

7. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.

9. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)

 13. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date.

14. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story.

            Contest opens: 9am Saturday 4/30/16 ~~ Contest closes: 9am Sunday 5/1/16

My Entry:

The original 1951 Buick ad

 “And then she saw Catherine Higgins, Mrs. Platt said, after she hit her with her vehicle,” said the officer. 

“Ms. Higgins said nothing’s broken, it was an accident and she won’t press charges,” said the Chief. “Thank God that sweet old lady was driving slow and doesn’t know Arthur is seeing Ms. Higgins.”

Later, Arthur told his wife, “That Buick is simply too big. You can’t see over the steering wheel.”

“I can see just fine.”

“You need a smaller car.”

“Arthur?”

“Yes, Dear?”

 “Stop seeing Catherine or next time I’ll gun that Buick. This time I only stunned her.”

.....

The contest is now closed, so of course now I think of a slightly better version of the story. I couldn't think of it when I still had time to do a mulligan (#7 in the rules).  siiiiigh Of course not.  This story is actually a miniature version of a longer one I've been working on for a while. Reducing that story into 100 words was quite a feat. Regardless, I'm certain my story above won't win and the one below wouldn't have, either. Btw, I purposely did not italicize any words, as I did in the version below, because I thought (mistakenly) that Janet Reid doesn't care for italicized words. But I digress. Here's what I consider to be the better 100-word version:

“And then she saw Catherine Higgins after she hit her with her vehicle, Mrs. Platt said, but not before,” said the officer. 

“Ms. Higgins said nothing’s broken, it was an accident and she won’t press charges on that sweet old lady,” said the Chief. “Thank God that sweet old lady was driving slow.”

Later, Arthur told his wife, “That Buick is simply too big. You can’t see over the steering wheel.”

“I can see just fine.”

“You need a smaller car.”

“Arthur?”

“Yes, Dear?”

“Stop seeing Catherine or next time I’ll gun that Buick. This time I only stunned her.”

The results are in:  I didn't win, but I made the finalist list! JR remarked: I'm a sucker for an old lady driving a Buick story, most likely cause Granddad was a Buick man. And I do like the little twist that no one expects a little old lady to be lethally aware of her man doing her wrong.


UPDATE! UPDATE!! 6/7/2016: If I want to collect and publish a selection of blog contest entries, like this one from Kitty,
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THE BLUSHING GROOM

It's Janet Reid's The Sayonara Amy, Smooth Seas Ahead Writing Contest
Let's send Amy off on her amazing journey with a writing contest!

The usual rules apply:
1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Use these words in the story: sea   blue   salt   safe    land
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt word must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards. Thus: sea/seattle is ok, but salt/gestalt is not
4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't later ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date. 

Contest opens: Saturday March 12, 10am ~~ Contest closes: Sunday March 13, 11am 

(yea, hello daylight savings time)

My Entry:

At the seasoned age of eighty-two, Luella was getting married for the first time.  Waiting for the organist to begin, she ran down “the list.”

“Something old: me!  Something new: my shoes.  Something borrowed: my dress. Something bl… Oh my, I must confess something NOW!”

It’s safe to say Luella’s sins altogether wouldn’t amount to one decent confession.  Even so, Father O’Hara was immediately summoned.

Minutes later, Luella marched down the aisle, on her brother’s arm, wearing a garland of flowers in her hair, a smile on her face and "sinfully sheer blue undergarments" she bought in the lingerie department.

    Photo by my father, John Gould © late 1940s

And the winner is.... Not I, but Janet had this to say about my story: "This story was just utterly charming: kitty 2:50pm." I may not have won but I'm smiling :)

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NOTHING BEATS A GOOD PASTRAMI ON RYE WITH TWO DILLS

Janet Reid's Treasure chest writing contest!

To celebrate the spiffy new spread sheet of all the writing contest winners, it's a writing contest!   (Of course!)

The usual rules apply:
1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.
2. Use these words in the story:  tank  chest  tray  sure  smith
3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The letters for the prompt must appear in consecutive order. They cannot be backwards.
Thus: tank/stank is ok but smith/smiteth is not.
5. One entry per person. If you need a mulligan (a do-over) erase your entry and post again. It helps to work out your entry first, then post.
7. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title)
11. You agree that your contest entry can remain posted on the blog for the life of the blog. In other words, you can't ask me to delete the entry and any comments about the entry at a later date. 
12. The stories must be self-contained. That is: do not include links or footnotes to explain any part of the story. Those extras will not be considered part of the story. 

       Contest opens: Saturday 2/20/16 at 10am & Contest closes: Sunday 2/21/16 at 10am

My Entry:

Old Mrs. Mandelbaum was sitting at the register in her Manhattan kosher deli chain-smoking Chesterfields, ashtray poised for the fallout, while training a new busboy.

“Mayor’s coming,” the busboy said.

“Nanny Bloomers? That pinstripe schmuck doesn’t bother me.”

“Sylvia.”

“Michael.”

“You know smoking will kill you.”

“I'm blowing that theory to smithereens.” {laugh, cough, hack}

“It’s against the law to smoke in here.”

“So you keep telling me.”

“Is my order ready?”

“Pastrami on rye, two dills.”

“Just put it on my tab.” He smiled.  “See you tomorrow, Sylvia.”

“Always a pleasure, Michael.”

“Where’s the mayor’s tab?”

“I’m smoking it.”

OMG! I made Janet Reid's SHORT LIST, again!  

And these were her comments:"This just cracked me up.  You need to know that Mayor Michael Bloomberg was derided as "Nanny Bloomers" for his efforts to pass legislation about health stuff (like banning smoking in bars.)   And "chain smoking Chesterfields" is a great use of brand names to convey characters.   If she'd been chain smoking Virginia Slims you'd have a whole different idea of her, right?   And it took me three passes to find the prompt word tank! "

And the winner is.... Sara Halle. 

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